Past Tense vs. Present Tense Madness – And OMG I think I’m gonna write in Future Past Perfect Historical (Mandarin)

What is it with writers and tenses? There always seems to be some sort of debate or another about whether the good ol' past tense is still THE SHIT, or whether present tense is gaining up on it on merit. You know, some people hate present tense in novels. Like really, passionately, fervently hate it. While …